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| Donna Reed Show |
Today's world can be overwhelming in many aspects these days. Politics, 3rd wave feminism, radical religious ideology and many other things of modern day don't mesh with a seemingly more conservative vintage lifestyle.
Of course living a vintage lifestyle doesn't mean we are agreement with segregation and anti-gay stance of years ago either.
Choosing to be a "Vintee" or "Vintage Enthusiast" is seen as a subculture of individuals devoting their lives to living in the past.
Many like myself have adopted the 1940's to 1950's fashions and lifestyle. I find such comfort in this and adore taking care of my husband, family and home.
I am guilty of laying out my husbands clothes every morning before he goes to work.
Some wives may find this to be offensive and subservient to a man. I don't subscribe to a "feminist" viewpoint so it works for me. Laying his clothing out is actually an act of service A.K.A act of love toward my husband. We have to remember that "love" is an action.
My husband and I do not have a perfect marriage and yes it has been a train wreck at some point too. Our vintage lifestyle has fit in so well with both our needs as a married couple. I love the fashion's too, I won't lie.
When we were first married we had some obstacles we needed to overcome. We attended a couples class at our church and were introduced to the 5 Love Languages. We use the 5 Love Languages to gauge what each others top need is. I recommend taking the Love Language test for couples.
DISCOVER YOUR LOVE LANGUAGE
My husbands top love language is "Word's of Affirmation". What guy doesn't want to be built up and told how appreciated he is? My husband loves to be told he's doing a great job. His second highest love language is "Acts of Service".
He looks forward to having a clean home. Of course that is always a work in progress as I am not Martha Stewart.
He prefers to have dinner on the table when he get's home from work. I'm not on the ""Donna Reed Show, so this doesn't always happen everyday either, but I try. Our children like to have dinner at the table as well and studies show that it's better for them to eat dinner as a family during the week.
Before we adopted the 1950's vintage lifestyle shortly after we were married 6 years ago, our life together and in both our past marriages was like a tug of war. There was always a power struggle, no one had a role and they were always chaotic. Our former marriages crashed and burned and now here we are trying something different and it's working.
Each couple has to be in agreement to what "role" is theirs. The 1950's housewife role is a comfortable one for myself. My husband's role is the provider.
My favorite part of the vintage lifestyle is being able to look the part of the 1950's sitcom housewife.
Some may say it's quirky but I'm not willing to pass up the lovely vintage clothing styles for sweatpants just yet.
I do get the side eye from people when I'm out and about, but I also get compliments. My vintage clothing opens a lot of dialog, mostly from other women. The conversation is always positive. I personally think women of today still like the idea of old fashioned femininity or dressing feminine. I admit the comfort zone of leggings and tunics is a hard one to get away from.
Our vintage lifestyle works for our marriage and I think it could work for others as well. Also understanding the 5 Love Languages and hard work help's a lot too.
Happy Housewifing!
Lovely post.
ReplyDeleteI believe to some degree that problems can lie in neither side knowing where they stand, what with gender roles having blurred so dramatically over the past decades. Men don't know what is expected of them and what they're allowed to say and do, for fear of offending and women can often feel guilty for wanting a traditional role in life as they are made to feel as though they are 'letting the side down'. I believe that once both sides know what is expected of them in a relationship, and once there is mutual agreement, then you're already on the best path.
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ReplyDeleteLove is an action.... I hear my husband's echo in this post. And it is an action... an action of choice. If you choose to do it, don't feel guilty for it. I get up at five o'clock every weekday morning to make my husband's breakfast and lunch. I don't have to. I choose to. Whenever he eats, he knows that it was because someone cared enough to make it for him. And he returns the favor in ways that he knows will make me happy. The Five Love Languages is an excellent read!
ReplyDeleteWe have read the Five Love Languages too. If we haven't read it we would not have understood each other as well. It helped. :) I go on the site gdonna.com She and her husband live the life of 1942 within their home. The 40s and 30s have always been my favorite. I grew up in the fifties so to me the older times were those years. :-)) I am glad to find a new post by you. I appreciate the time it must take to do any posts. I really do enjoy being a housewife and living the way we want to. Joni
ReplyDeleteI liked your post very much!
ReplyDeleteI am a lady living in Amsterdam and thr city is as liberal as can be. I am a muslim girl (quite conservative in some ways, you can compare it to Protestantism) and yet I live a somewhat liberal lifestyle due to where I live.
I see that conservatism is dying out here, and Im tug between two worlds. I used to attend a catholic Elementary school, which has stopped being catholic and became a "broad school". My highschool was a Christian highschool and there is nothing Christian about it anymore. Though I am muslim, christianity is the closest to my faith we believe in Jesus and the old and new Testament (not many people know this).
Im all for feminism as in equal rights but 3rd wave feminism needs to set their priorities right. I come from a conservative environment where marriage and pleasing your family and husband is valued. But I have been taught by society that is wrong. Dresses and modest wear is wrong, Aspiring to get married is wrong, cooking is wrong.
I see that 66% of the marriages fail because of females who are too feminist (not wanting to fulfill their plight as a wife) and men demanding their wives to act right when they aren't as hardworking as their wives and sometimes demand their wives to work at home and outside and hand in their paychecks.
I feel nostalgic to a time I havent lived. The time when a woman was a woman and a man was a man. When it was clear what the rights and plights were, where you could go to the Church for marriage advice.
I am attending University doing two studies to become a businesswoman. I want to achieve and be a strong. But doing two studies is hard, studying in general is hard. I feel like that is what society demands from me.
I would much rather be married and take care of the house and my husband. But the fast life and social media has taught me thats wrong, I am weak and delusional if I follow the religious way of life.
As you said politics, crises and religous extremism has made life way too complicated. And society had made it almost impossible to believe and follow God.
Deep in my heart I want to be a modest woman, have a husband and humble home and take care of the children. But thats the wrong aspiration.
Great post.
ReplyDeleteHey! I just found your blog. I'm another retro lunatic - love your stuff! I hope you come back and blog some more soon. I've added you to my blog roll, come on over to Mental Meatloaf and have a gander if you feel adventurous. 8-)
ReplyDeleteOh do I understand this. I blog over at 50shousewife.com and I took a year-long break as well. The hate mail was a bit much. It's crazy how people (primarily women) feel the need to criticize other women for making a decision to live their life in a chosen manner that differs with theirs. Glad to see you out here. I hope you come back. I just recently came back and it'd be nice to have someone else on this side of the spectrum to share ideas!!
ReplyDeleteYes your post is saying many things about lifestyle these days. Life of housewives looks so easy but that have mesh sometimes.
ReplyDeletethank you for sharing
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Where does a vintage man go to meet a single vintage woman these days?
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